The Leadership Shift
Mark had been a financial advisor for twenty years.
He knew the numbers, the charts, the plans. But lately, he noticed something strange.
His clients weren’t just coming to him for money advice. They were coming to him for courage.
Courage to save. Courage to invest. Courage to believe in a future they couldn’t yet see.
And that’s when Mark realized, he wasn’t just advising portfolios. He was leading lives.
The Sabotage Instinct
At first, Mark did what most of us do when we feel things slip out of control. He worked harder to control them.
When a client made a choice he didn’t like, he tightened his grip.
More charts, more rules, more telling them exactly what to do.
But the tighter he held on, the less trust there was.
Control feels like safety. But often, it’s fear in disguise.
He saw how this instinct to control didn’t serve the future he wanted.
He wanted a future based on partnership and purpose. Yet, he was serving the fear that whispered, “You’re not enough.”
Control → Trust & Partnership
So he tried something new.
He started asking questions instead of giving orders.
He listened.
He slowed down.
He trusted his clients to think and feel with him.
And something changed. He stopped being the only one steering.
Now they were building the map together.
Withdrawal → Presence & Dialogue
There were weeks when Mark felt burned out. When clients ignored his advice or the markets fell again, he wanted to pull back, to go quiet, to hide behind email.
But hiding never built trust.
So instead, he showed up. A phone call. A check‑in. A real conversation. Presence became his new power tool.
Perfectionism → Progress & Learning
Mark used to believe the best advisor was the one who never made mistakes. So every wrong step became a secret shame.
But life doesn’t ask for perfect. Just progress.
Now, when something went wrong, Mark turned it into a lesson. "What can we learn from this?" became his favorite phrase. His clients began saying it too.
Rage or Blame → Boundaries & Ownership
At times, clients lashed out when things went south. Mark used to take it personally (defending, blaming, pushing back).
But now, he owned what was his, and let go of what wasn’t.
Boundaries made him strong, not cold. They left space for calm, not conflict.
Shame → Compassion & Courage
In quiet moments, Mark still felt the sting of doubt. The old voice saying he should have known better, done more.
But he learned to bring compassion, not judgment.
He began talking to himself the way he spoke to clients. With kindness and courage. And every time he did, he rebuilt the future he wanted to serve.
The Choice We All Face
Every day, we stand at the same crossroads Mark did.
We can serve our future. The one built on trust, progress, presence, ownership, and compassion.
Or we can sabotage it with control, withdrawal, perfectionism, blame, and shame.
The shift isn’t big. It’s just a choice.
A choice to lead the way. Starting with ourselves. Starting with the discipline of presence and avoiding the instinct to sabotage.
Visit my website at keitademming.com, for my free course, where I help you face the tough conversations faster so you protect performance, profit, and peace of mind
In all that we do, let us seek wisdom, discipline, courage & justice.
Be well,
Keita
