Why You Must Keep Cheats Out of Your Circle

Why You Must Keep Cheats Out of Your Circle

I’m revisiting an old article I wrote because it is so relevant in today’s world. This is a shortened more readable version of the original one.

Each of us has a trusted circle—people we turn to for advice, collaboration, and support. The highest performers are strategic and discerning about who they allow into their tribe, and the returns on that selectivity are enormous.

Before we talk about the importance of curating our social circles, teams, and organizations, let’s explore a fascinating modeling experiment involving birds and parasites. It might sound strange but stick with me.

In The Selfish Gene, Richard Dawkins describes an experiment with two bird colonies, both infested by a deadly parasite. The only way a bird can survive is if another bird plucks the parasite off its forehead.

Here’s where things get interesting:

• Some birds always help others, removing parasites without expecting reciprocity. Dawkins calls them suckers.
• Others never return the favor but happily accept help. These are the cheats.

When cheats outnumber suckers, the colony collapses—because eventually, no one is left to help.

A third type of bird, the grudgers, remembers who helped them and reciprocates accordingly. They pluck parasites for those who have done the same but refuse to help cheats. Colonies with grudgers have the best survival rate, but if too many cheats emerge, even they cannot save the group.

The lesson? Cheats destroy teams, organizations, and social circles. If we’re not careful, they drain resources, undermine trust, and weaken performance.

Keeping Cheats Out

Many of our clients have used this story to rethink how they hire, build teams, and protect their culture. They take proactive steps to keep cheats out:

📌 Adam Grant’s Approach to Hiring:

• Ask candidates for four names of people whose careers they’ve helped improve. Cheats often name only influential people.
• Get references from peers and direct reports—not just bosses.
• Look for those who share credit for success and take responsibility for failures.

📌 Stephen Covey’s Warning: “The more people rationalize cheating, the more it becomes a culture of dishonesty.” If cheats are tolerated, they multiply.

A high-performing team thrives on reciprocity—"You scratch my back, I scratch yours." Protecting yourself from cheats is not just self-preservation; it’s a generous act that strengthens your entire network.

Be selective. Guard your circle. The survival of your team depends on it.

Here is a link to the original article

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In all that we do, let us seek wisdom, discipline, courage & justice.

Be well,

Keita