You Don’t Need Bigger Goals Next Year. You Need a Higher Floor and a Smaller Start. – Part 3 of 3

Read part 1 and part 2 here

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Standards as Your Compass
At some point, goals and reminders stop being enough; what really guides your days is the quiet set of standards you hold for yourself and the people you love. Part 3 is about turning those standards into a simple compass for your health, family, and business, and learning how to hold them when others test or question your change.

From Rules to an Internal Compass
Rules often feel external and imposed, something you “should” do to avoid guilt or criticism, while standards feel internal and chosen.

Parenting and psychological research suggest that when expectations are clear, consistent, and paired with warmth, children develop greater self-regulation and ownership of their behaviour.

The same is true for adults: when you define your own standards, you shift from “trying to be good” to “living in alignment with who I am.” That internal compass reduces the need for nagging, self-shaming, or relying on other people’s approval to feel on track.

Modeling Standards for Kids and Teams
Children and team members learn far more from what they see than from what they are told. When adults do not follow the rules they set, kids quickly recognize the “double standard” and stop taking those rules seriously. The same dynamic shows up in business when leaders demand behavior they are not willing to model: punctuality, deep work, or health habits.

Instead of just saying “be kind,” “work hard,” or “take ownership,” you can:

• Write your own standards and share them.
• Let your family or team see you keeping those standards when it is inconvenient.
• Invite them to create their own short list of standards in their own words.

This builds an internal dialogue; kids and adults start saying, “I didn’t keep my standard today,” which is far more powerful than reacting only to external punishment or praise.

Metrics That Match Your Identity
In health and business, it is easy to chase vanity metrics: body weight, follower counts, likes, or superficial revenue spikes that do not reflect sustainable performance.

Performance metrics are those that actually track the behaviors and capabilities that matter: weekly kilometers, VO2 max, number of focused work blocks, calls made, meetings held, or deep-work hours completed.

When you choose identity-based metrics that align with your why: “stay capable with my family,” “build a resilient business,” “stay mentally sharp for clients”, you stop obsessing over the scale or the like counter and start focusing on what actually makes you better.

Over time, those performance metrics become part of your persoal standards: “people like me run at least X km a week,” “leaders like me protect three focus blocks,” or “parents like me get outside with their kids most days.”

Social Tests and “Crabs in the Bucket”
Anytime you raise your standards, your social environment will respond. Some people will cheer for you; others will subtly or overtly try to pull you back to the old normal, what is often called “crab mentality,” where individuals undermine someone else’s progress so no one “escapes the bucket.”

This can look like:

• Jokes or teasing when you leave early, skip drinks, or decline junk food.
• Withholding support or enthusiasm when you share wins.
• Inviting you into situations that directly conflict with your new standards.

Recognizing this pattern is crucial, because it helps you see that resistance is often more about the other person’s discomfort than your choices. Over time, people who truly care about you will either:

• Join you in some way (maybe not at your intensity, but in spirit), or
• Respect your standards and stop pushing you to break them.

If neither happens, it may be a sign to gently reduce the influence of those relationships and seek out communities where growth is celebrated rather than threatened.

Trusting the “Hockey Stick” in Life and Business
Whether you are changing your body, deepening family culture, or building a focused business, progress tends to feel slow and flat before it suddenly compounds. In measurement terms, this is the difference between obsessing over daily fluctuations (weight, likes, daily revenue) and staying locked on the underlying trend of your key standards and performance metrics.

When you keep your standards through the “boring middle”, the stretch where effort is high and visible results are low, you are compounding the time it needs to kick in. Many people abandon their new identity just before the curve bends upward, often because they mistake the lack of immediate external validation for failure.

Make It Real: Your One-Page Standards Compass
To turn this into something you can use for your health, family, and business, create a simple one-page document that you can revisit weekly.

On a single page, write:

1. Who you are becoming.
One short paragraph that describes the kind of person, parent, partner, and leader you are becoming in 2026, tied to your deeper why.
2. 3–7 personal standards (floors).
These should cover:

        ▪️ Health and energy (movement, sleep, nutrition).

         ▪️Relationships (time, presence, how you speak when stressed).

         ▪️Business or work (prospecting, creating, or focused work blocks).

     3. 3–5 meaningful metrics.
List the performance metrics that matter more than vanity numbers, like weekly kilometers, workouts, deep-work hours, outreach counts,           books read, or family rituals completed.

     4. Social environment notes

         ▪️Name the people and places that support your standards and note where “crab mentality” shows up so you can be more intentional about your time and               boundaries.

Set aside 20–30 minutes this week to write your one-page “Personal Standards Compass for 2026,” then share one of your standards or metrics with someone you trust so it stops being just an idea and starts becoming how you live.

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In all that we do, let us seek wisdom, discipline, courage & justice.

Be well,

Keita

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